Butterfly: My Conversion Story — Part 3

(Part One | Part Two)

Something extraordinary happened!  I began to hear Jesus.  He started answering my prayers.  He started guiding me and giving me things to do. My prayers were real now and not empty.  I was getting to know Jesus. Now I realize God was always there and always speaking to me but I had gotten really good at tuning him out.  It’s like when I worked in Labor and Delivery, there were crying babies all the time.  I learned to tune them out. I think we do this with each other too!  Then God told me I needed to go to daily Mass more often.  I must have gone to Mass over 40 straight days in a row after that!  Twice on Wednesdays and Sundays!  Soon I was so full of Love and Joy I felt I would burst.  WOW!

I began talking to people.  I started volunteering for things in the parish. And I kept reading books: Into Your Hands Father, He Leadeth Me, Rediscover Catholicism.  Jesus was my teacher in adoration.  He would teach me things and then I would go out into the world and hear them from Priests or the saints in writings.  It was incredible.  I stopped watching TV.  Not on purpose it just happened.  I stopped shopping all the time.  I stopped trying to change people.  Heck I couldn’t even change myself how can I expect to change someone else?  I began to love people!

(Now I believe because I know Jesus in my heart)

Next I learned that I should, and I longed to, have a relationship with the Blessed Virgin Mary.  I began to ‘do’ things to help with this.  I started to pray the rosary daily.  I joined a bible study about Mary.  When I would pray in adoration I would kneel and imagine I was resting my head on Jesus’ lap and He would stroke my hair.  I started staying after daily mass and kneeling and praying.  One time I felt that I was actually resting my head on Jesus’ lap.  I could feel Him stroking my hair.  I know I was still in church but it felt as though I was not.  I could not sense anything there.  Just Jesus and me.  I couldn’t hear or feel anything in the church.   Then I became aware of Mary in front of me to my left.  I could just tell she was there.  She never said anything or touched me.  Nothing.  Just stood there.  Then slowly that began to fade and the church faded in.  It was truly amazing!  There were still others in the church talking and I hadn’t heard them before.  This kind of thing kept happening to me.  I got a journal and began writing down my thoughts and experiences.  God is so merciful and wonderful.  I have even heard from Mother Mary at times.  I am well on my journey now to God and I know I will never turn away.

Scripture is alive to me now!  Words no longer are "pie in the sky" but have real meaning.  At first when I heard Jesus tell me something I would need Him to tell me several times and even confirm it through another source.  But soon it got easier.  Now I feel like I am in constant conversation with Jesus and I encounter much less doubt when hearing Him.  If you truly love God then you will love his people, and help them find Him.

A diagram of who I am now.  Now I live for Christ alone.  Everything I do I do for Him and thus it brings me great Joy.

Now I thank God everyday for Life.  I thank Him for His love me and I thank Him for my love for Him.

Galatians 2:20-21 "I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me; and the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.  I do not nullify the grace of God; for if justification were through the law, then Christ died to no purpose."

Cindy Montanarella